Fluent Future
raha81
added by raha81 on Dec 31 at 03:11am
english | Question: this is poem or someting like that. i want to correct sentence.
he has a sun flower in his pupil. i love his flower so i decide to be a sun. his blond hair is like a petal of sunflower. it is very soft and warm. whereas i has a hot sun in my pupil. my black hair is like a sunshine. it is very strong and thick. in the night when the frog is crying, flower was sleep. the sun have waited until the frog become to be a prince. in the morning the sunflower envy the frog and give the back to the sun. the sun try to soothe the sunflower with shine. unnoticed sunflower face to sun. the flower\'s sweet smell is fill with in the air.
Comments
aquaboy
added by aquaboy on Dec 31 at 06:48pm

He has a sunflower in his pupil,i loved his flower so i deceided to be the sun,his blonde hair is like a petal on the sunflower very soft and warm.I Have the hot sun in my pupil,my black hair is like the sunshine,very strong and thick, in the night the frog is crying the flower sleeps,the sun waited for the frog to become a prince.Morning arose the sunflower envied the frog and gave back to the sun,the sun soothed the sunflower with sunshine, unnoticed the sunflower faced the sun,the flowers sweet smell filled the air.  

eMaestro
added by eMaestro on Oct 13 at 05:26am

Your poem has so many beautiful images. Here is my attempt to correct it. Remember that capitalization and line breaks are very important, especially in a poem! ---

He has sunflowers in his pupils. I love those flowers so I decide to be a sun.

His blond hair, like a petal of the flower, is very soft and warm, whereas I have a hot sun in my pupils. My black hair, like the sunshine, is very strong and thick.

In the night, when the frog is crying, the flower sleeps. The sun has waited for the frog to become a prince.

In the morning the sunflower envies the frog and turns its back to the sun. The sun trys to soothe the sunflower with its shining.

Unnoticed the sunflower turns its face to the sun. The flower's sweet smell fills all the air.

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